The Other Side

Our first week back “home” has been quite interesting. Not the same interesting as a year ago, however. Many times over the last several days Chris and I have reminisced about our feelings when we first set foot in this strange land only 12 months ago. At that time, we stepped off the plane with mouths agape and eyes stretched open. We staggered around our neighborhood trying to make sense of all of the new sights, sounds, and smells. Everything about our new lives was strange and exciting, and more than a little bit overwhelming. This year, we find ourselves on the other side, the “veteran’s” side. I’m not suggesting that just one year here has made us authorities on the intricacies of Taiwanese language or culture, but we do feel at least slightly accustomed to life in Taipei.

This year, we stepped off the plane, came to our apartment, and got ready for church. After church, we had lunch and met some friends for dinner at a restaurant we had been craving all summer. You know what? We did the exact same thing in Birmingham when we arrived seven weeks ago, and the exact same thing in Denver when we arrived four weeks ago. It is a really strange, but comforting feeling to consider three different cities around the world “home.”

We have spent our time this past week at orientation at school. It has been great to catch up with friends and get to know the new teachers. It really is incredible what a difference a year makes. Chris and I smile as the new teachers remind us of our own curiosity and nervousness about Taiwan and making a life here.

As most of you probably did not know, we had a typhoon come through this weekend. You may remember from my blog last year that people really don’t make a big deal out of these storms here in Taipei. City planning is such that we don’t really worry about flooding or major wind damage. The 7-11 by our apartment never closes so Oreos and ramen noodles are always close at hand. I really enjoyed being able to play the reassuring role to the new teachers whose stomachs dropped at the word “typhoon.” A category 4? No big deal, that just means a day off of school to hunker down and play cards with your friends.

Don’t you worry, though. I’m sure that we will still have plenty of entertaining and frustrating stories to blog about as we burrow further into the culture that will make itself our home again for the next 12 months. But, for now, I’m going to enjoy feeling right at home here on the other side.

The Top Ten

The zoom of cars and scooters in the streets, the whir of our window air conditioning unit, unintelligible voices in the hall, cool sweat perpetually dripping down my back; all a gentle reminder that we are back “home”. Through the beauty of both being teachers, Chris and I got to spend the last seven weeks in the States with our family and friends. We had a wonderful time with everyone as we caught up from last year and tried to store away few extra memories to last us through this next year.

In honor of the transition from our native home to our adopted one, we decided to put together a couple of top ten lists. The first list is the top ten things we will miss about the good ol’ US of A. The second is the top ten things we are looking forward to in the good ol’ Tai of wan.

Top Ten Things We Will Miss About the Old Country

10. Eating bar-b-cue and grilling out. BBQ and all of the trimmings that come along with it are pretty much American delicacies. The only pulled pork you can find around here is stuffed inside a sweet pastry… go figure. We also love throwing burgers, brats, chicken, steak, or any other protein other than tofu on a grill. Grilling is forbidden in our apartment complex and the adjacent park, although it is perfectly okay to burn fake money in large quantities to honor your dead ancestors. Again… go figure.

9. Recognizing grocery store ingredients. While it is true that I don’t do a whole lot of grocery shopping, I actually do like to cook every now and again. I would just like to be guaranteed that it is, in fact, soy sauce that I am putting in my stir fry and not fermented goat bile.

8. Driving. It is really nice on an especially hot or rainy day to just be able to hop in your air conditioned vehicle and get where you are going.

7. Road Trips. Along with the driving, it is really fun to be able to plan road trips to see a part of the country we had never visited before. In Alabama, I got to go on a trip with the Simpson/James ladies and in Colorado, we got to take a trip with my sister and her boyfriend. Filling a cooler with snacks, popping in a homemade CD or iPod and singing along, and driving to your MapQuested destination is truly Americana at its finest.

6. The weather. All of our friends and family suffering through a sweltering Alabama August can commiserate with us on this one. The second half of our summer was spent in the perfection that is summer in Colorado. It is warm enough during the day to go hiking or enjoy lunch on the patio, but cool enough in the evenings that a dip in the hot tub is refreshing. Stepping off the plane this morning, the humidity smacked us in the face like a 2 X 4 soaked in steaming hot water. It will take me a while to recover.

5. Food Network / ESPN. We actually do get a variety of channels on our T.V. here and a handful of those are in English. However, Food Network hasn’t made its debut – though I have a feeling it would just be frustrating because I would be inspired to cook and I would be faced with the problem found in the aforementioned grocery store difficulties. We also get three sports channels. But, as it turns out, no one else in the world cares about American football. For those of you who know Chris, missing out on a season of Auburn football is a BIG deal. Wish us both luck as we try to do it again this year.

4. Queso dip. Cheese in general is hard to find around here. Especially elusive is the chemically altered cheese food served in Mexican restaurants. Though it has nothing in it resembling a natural food product, I find it delicious and miss it terribly while we are here. I haven’t decided if it is fortunate or unfortunate that queso doesn’t tend to ship well.

3. Paper towels in the bathrooms. In Taiwan, one in about every fifty bathrooms comes equipped with paper towels to dry your hands. This may sound petty, but after I wash my hands, I prefer to not have to shake them off like a shaggy dog after a bath. Often, we are forced to resort to thin tissues that, instead of drying, simply leave giblets of wet paper all over your hands. I’m sorry, but this just doesn’t cut it for me.

2. Being able to read signs and ask for help (and understand the answer). I will admit that our lack of language skills rests solely on our shoulders. And, most of the time, we can get our point across to whomever we are speaking. But, sometimes, I just want to know what a menu says or why I’m being yelled at on the bus. Is that too much to ask?

1. Friends and family. Of course, the number one thing we will miss about America is you. Well, and maybe Tica.


Top Ten Things We Are Looking Forward to in the New Country

10. Cheap entertainment. Walking through the park by our apartment every morning is quite an adventure (see blog Just a Walk in the Park). We are definitely looking forward to what new antics and “exercises” Mary Poppins has learned over the summer.

9. Getting a haircut. It really isn’t about what they trim or how much, it is about the haircut experience – the fact that they take two hours to wash and massage your scalp before they cut has had me pining for a pruning all summer. Cross your fingers that, in a state of massage euphoria and language confusion, I don’t accidentally agree to fuchsia highlights.

8. Being able to walk everywhere. While a car can be nice, we definitely appreciate having no idea how much gas costs or the price of a parking space at our apartment. On most days, we really enjoy getting out in the city and hiking through the concrete jungle.

7. Planning vacations. Road trips are pretty much out of the question but weekend trips to Hong Kong or South Korea are not. We have had a blast exploring this part of the world and are getting geared up for some new trips this year.

6. Bringing food into the movie theater… legally. Admittedly, the rush of sneaking an entire package of Oreos past the ticket taker is somewhat exhilarating. But, I have to say, I much prefer not having to pull my snacks out of my pants and socks before enjoying them during a movie.

5. Milk Tea. Quite possibly Taiwan’s greatest contribution to the world, black tea is seeped in milk and then spiced with cinnamon and cardamom and finally sweetened with lots of sugar. Delightful.

4. Cheap food. I don’t have to explain how wonderful it is to get a great, traditional Taiwanese dinner for two for $3 USD or to stuff ourselves with fresh sushi for $10 USD. I’m telling you, you’ll save so much money eating here that the plane tickets will practically pay for themselves.

3. No tipping. Speaking of cheap food, there is also no tipping in Taiwan. In fact, the States is pretty much the only place in the world that requires such a high tip at restaurants. Come on, America, get with the times! Let’s move to the metric system and cut out this tipping bologna!

2. Playing the dumb American. Whether it is walking past annoying street surveys or offering vendors ridiculously low prices while bargaining, playing ignorant American (though not always effective) is always fun.

1. Friends. The number one thing we are looking forward to in coming back to Taiwan is seeing friends we made last year and making new ones this year.

Here’s to another year in Asia!

Shanghai Breezes

It seems to me that after going on a trip, I have a hard time putting our experiences into words. Well, that’s not quite true. I think that my real issue is organizing my thoughts about our experiences into a coherent, reader-friendly blog format. I shall once again endeavor to express our emotions when I describe what our trip to China was like.

The adventure started the minute we landed in Shanghai when a team of nuclear blast-ready airport officials boarded our plane and proceeded to take the temperature of every passenger on board, apparently guarding the country of China from the H1N1 virus. This was not odd for us alone as we witnessed the Chinese pulling out their cell phones and digital cameras to document the event. Chris and I wondered why they didn’t check us before we spent two and half hours aboard a flying petri dish, but seeing as we all came out swine flu-free, we didn’t stress about it too much. Once off the plane, we waded through the crowds to pass through customs and pick up our bags at baggage claim. We met up with our friend and pastor, Tim, and he took us into the city of Shanghai.

We arrived late at night and went to an all-night restaurant. If I’ve learned anything from our travels, it’s that if you want good food, go to where the locals are. This was a local’s restaurant. No one spoke English and, though it was close to midnight, tables were filled with Shanghaiese smoking, laughing, talking loudly, and (most importantly) eating. While Tim is completely fluent in Mandarin, he learned to read and write in Taiwan where they use a different character system than they do in the Mainland. So, in Shanghai, he finds himself in the situation that Chris and I have learned to be familiar with of being illiterate. So, we decided to randomly point to things on the menu and have the waitress bring them to us. Let me tell you, it was some of the best food I have ever put in my mouth. Steaming piles of chicken and peanuts in a savory sauce, roasted eggplant, sautéed shrimp, trust me General Tsao has nothing on this food. The next day, we got some famous Shanghai massages, toured the city, and enjoyed the interesting Chinese-English translations. Thursday night, we jumped in a car and headed a couple hours west to a city called Suzhou.

Known as the “Venice of the East”, Suzhou is a beautiful city built on canals and a moat. A few years ago, the Singapore government came in and built the new part of the city known as the Suzhou Industrial Park, or SIP. We went around the city comparing the new with the old and getting a taste for Mainland Chinese culture. Now, there is something important that I need to let you in on. Not all religion and church activities are illegal in China. In fact, there are five religions approved by the Chinese government that include both Catholicism and Protestantism. Moreover, since China is interested in attracting important foreign companies, they have actually poured quite a bit of money into developing the church community in Suzhou. That’s right, the Chinese government is paying to build a spectacular church and they are sponsoring a resident visa for our friend Tim to come and preach. Here’s the catch. Church activities can only take place in government sanctioned locations, by government sanctioned people, discussing government sanctioned topics. So, this means that every time our pastor preaches, the communist government has to listen to it in order to make sure he isn’t misbehaving. Think about that for a minute. We learned quite a bit about religious freedom and how it applies to both foreigners and local Chinese. I’m just going to tell you, God is active in China and He is working in some pretty powerful ways. We were thrilled to be able to be a part of it for a few days.

At the airport on the way back home, Chris and I confirmed two things together. Number one, we have GOT to learn Chinese. Number two, China has not seen the last of us.

Coming Up for Air

We would like to apologize profusely to our loyal readers for our long absence from the blogging world. The average end of the school year insanity was intensified by myriad tasks. We’ve been drowning in everything from sports tournaments to yearbook creating to awards ceremony emceeing. Sneak in teaching class, writing final exams, and the drama of a small school and you get quite a busy few weeks. However, we’ve had the fun task of trip planning as we have one more long weekend before the semester is out. We will be celebrating Dragon Boat Festival by visiting some friends in Shanghai, China. We are thrilled to have a chance to see the Mainland and even more excited to have a breather before heading into the final two weeks of school. We’ll update you on our final excursion and how we do on the homestretch of school. See you all soon!

Gently Down the Stream

By: Coach

I recently had the privilege of doing something that I have not done in several years. I was asked to accompany a group of students on an adventure that most kids in the States would arm wrestle for (especially if they could miss three days of school)! This activity is exciting, refreshing and sometimes dangerous. If you are still guessing I will end the suspense now; we went white water rafting.

Now before any of you click the red “X” icon on the top right of your screen because you’d rather watch Kobe and Yao battle it out on the hardwood, let me remind you that we are in Taiwan. So, this means that the trip (and the students) proved to be a little different than an American rafting excursion. When I was younger our youth group would load up a couple of 15-passenger vans, gas up and hit the interstate for a few hour drive to the river, making maybe one stop if we were lucky. For this trip our school rented a 40 passenger double-decker charter bus equipped with our personal AC vents and TV screens for all of the movies we were to watch on this six hour ride (yeah you heard right). Not only did we stop about every half-hour but the drive itself was slow going because we basically hugged a cliff over-looking the Pacific for the majority of the drive. Let’s put it this way, I am very glad that I do not get motion sickness on curvy roads because this one took the cake.

Lunch was an interesting experience unlike any other I had seen. We showed up to the restaurant to find it to be the biggest dining area you could imagine already about halfway full of Chinese tourists. It was very loud but thankfully the language barrier was not an issue on this trip. So, I just waited patiently until we found some tables together which actually only took about three minutes! They wheeled out this huge keg-like barrel of rice where all you had to do was walk up and stick your bowl in the sea of hands and POOF out comes your bowl full of white, sticky rice. Incredibly, as chaotic as this dining experience appeared to be from the outside, the staff was like a well-oiled machine. Plate after plate was methodically brought to our circular table (equipped with a food wheel). Here is where things get very sketchy. This dining style does not cater to those who have issues with sharing germs. As our table ate, we started to help ourselves to more food. But, there were no serving utensils or even extra chopsticks so, yes, everyone was digging into the delicious vegetable, meat and seafood dishes with freshly used chopsticks! Yummy.

When we arrived at our hotel I was shocked and amazed at the location of the place. Nestled in the mountains far away from any scooters or subway stations, I could breathe a lot easier for some reason! The kids unloaded quickly and made their way up to their rooms to hook up the various electronic gaming devices without even looking around at all! The scenery was breathtaking and even more exciting was our proximity to the natural hot springs (more on that later). After assigning everyone to a room and going over some simple rules, we gave them some free time options before dinner. I was thrilled to learn that there was a hiking trail nearby that overlooked the coast, the thought of which gave me an adrenaline rush! However, when faced with the choice of hanging out and playing cards, soaking in the hot springs, or hiking I had the number of volunteers that all of you would predict: zero. So hot springs it was.


Now let me paint you a picture so you totally understand what we had at our fingertips. Imagine being the only group in a small bed and breakfast that also had outside hot springs for your enjoyment whenever you fancy. Yeah, pretty cool huh? There was one hang-up though. They did not provide towels! I thought our Taiwanese teacher who acted as our translator was joking when she told me this. To my horror, it was true and apparently everyone else got the memo because every student who piled in the glorified “hot tub” brought their own personal towel with them. After persisting (more so playing dumb American) I got my way, sort of. The owner of the place gave me her personal towel to use for the week. She did this very graciously but had one adamant stipulation: that I remember to return it to her. I told Rebecca (our translator) to inform her that as much as I like pink and yellow butterflies that I would return her towel before we left for Taipei.

Now many of you have been rafting before and are fully aware of the dangers involved. You may also know that depending on the length, it can be very tiring because of the intense rowing required. Our rafting experience was drastically different. First of all the river was low to begin with. I would estimate the highest rated rapids we scooted over would be a 2 (out of 5). But if the kids could not experience a near-death rapid, at least they could have the joy of their arms turning into noodles after hours of paddling, right? Nope. Our trip was fully equipped with speed boat rafts that not only acted as a rescuer, but a tow boat whenever the kids got a little tired. Basically, all you had to do was stop rowing and hang back and soon you would have the red raft come and save the day. The other American-born male teacher and I were furious! Here we are in a difficult situation, one that most of these rich kids had NEVER faced and what do they learn? When the going gets tough just wait for the speed boat. Ridiculous.

All in all, the trip was a blast and some of the students took pride in working hard on the river and rowing most of the way. On the way home while the kids were singing Chinese Karaoke, I was reflecting on how to sum up this trip, particularly these kids who really frustrate me at times but I have grown to love and appreciate at the same time. All I could come up with is this: they might be lazy but they remember their towels.

Ready to Run

The blood, sweat, and tears of the last eight weeks of my life culminated (okay, so there was no blood, but there were sweat and tears) when international schools from all over the island met at the American School of Taichung for the cross country meet yesterday. Notice the use of the article “the” in the previous sentence. Since sports here are culturally very low on the priority list, we were only able to have this one meet during our “season”. In anticipating this day, I felt a blend of excitement for teaching kids to do something that I love and anxiety that I would be discovered as a fraud of a coach who hasn’t the slightest clue what I was doing. Waking up far too early on a rainy Saturday morning, we got ready to face the day.

We met our kids at 5:15 a.m. and headed to meet up with another international school in Taipei to make the two and a half hour journey south to the city of Taichung. We arrived at AST just in time to take the students to walk their course. It must be noted that AST, being situated in the mountains, has a beautiful campus. However, being situated in the mountains, the hilly trail was more than a little intimidating for those of us who had been training in the flat city of Taipei. But, without enough time to get nervous, it was time for the girls’ race to start. Our girls held their own with our top runner finishing seventh overall and fourth in her age group.

Shortly after all the girls had crossed the finish line, the boys lined up to start their race. We were counting on one of our boys to do really well and were crossing our fingers that he might place. We watched as the first place boy came screaming across the finish line (quite literally), then the second, and the third. Soon thereafter, our top runner crossed the line placing fifth. We were a little disappointed that he wasn’t in the top three but proud that he did as well as he did. However, at the awards ceremony, Chris and I began to notice that they weren’t giving awards just to the top three boys and top three girls. Instead, they were dividing them by grade level. As soon as we realized this, we knew that our guy had a chance. Sure enough, when first place for ninth grade boys was announced, they called his name. He was so shocked that when he went up to the awards table, he told them that it must be a mistake. We assured him that it wasn’t and he proudly accepted his medal.

Now, I have to mention some of the behind the scenes drama that was going on while the students were running. After the student races, there was going to be a “Masters” race in which all of the coaches could compete. I was excited about this race, but the intimidation factor began to rise quickly as I heard all of the other coaches discussing which triathlons they had participated in in recent weeks. To add to my angst about my abilities as a runner and as a coach, one of the other coaches began to give me a hard time about my students. Apparently, it was shocking that I would allow my students to run with iPods. I’m still not quite sure why. Also, for some reason, one of our runners failed to eat breakfast and I got chastised for that as well. Anyway, with her chiseled legs and racing tank top tan lines, this coach quickly became an ominous competitor in my eyes.

Finally, it was time for our race to start. The runners took off speedily and I started to maneuver my way in front of my nemesis. Just being a 5K, the race went by rather quickly and I finished sixth overall and first for the women (though there were only four of us). But, if I can toot my own horn for a second, I totally smoked Ms. Chiseled Legs. I was blissfully chatting away with other runners sipping on water when she came huffing across the finish line. I gloated on the inside – and now on the outside, to you. Thanks for indulging me.

With two first place medals and no one coming in last, I was pleased with how we represented ourselves. However, I will admit that I am not sad that it will be another year before I have to train kids athletically again. I don’t think it is time to quit my day job just yet.

Olives on a Corpse

To say the least, we have had some very interesting culinary experiences thus far here in Taiwan. The vast majority of these traditional Taiwanese treats have been quite tasty. We have learned to genuinely enjoy rice cookies, steamed dumplings, octopus and duck heart. There have been a handful of experiences, however, that left a little to be desired. The most intense of these experiences was most definitely our encounter with stinky tofu.

Stinky tofu is the actual name for this food and it is an incredibly accurate name for this Taiwanese fare. Stinky tofu is one of the vilest smells my nostrils have ever encountered. For the first month or so that Chris and I were here, we didn’t realize that “that smell” was not something that we stepped in walking through the park, nor was it wafting from a passing garbage truck. No, what we were smelling was actually something intended for human consumption. The odor produced by the frying of stinky tofu is a pungent mélange of canine fecal matter and vomit. From many yards away, it reaches up and grabs your nostrils, forcing the unexpecting victim to heed its presence. There is actually a street near our apartment that has several carts selling this “comestible”. Though “Stinky Tofu Street”, as we have deemed it, is usually the shortest way home, we avoid it at all cost for fear of passing out from the stench.

To help you picture this experience, let me give you a quick Stinky Tofu for Dummies explanation of how this is made. First, one takes a bucket of unsweetened soy milk and drops in a few vegetables, dried shrimp, and spices. This concoction is left outside (in the tropical heat of Taiwan) for anywhere from a few weeks to six months or more. You can tell it is ready by its moldy, gray appearance. After this brine has been prepared, a firm tofu is marinated in it for several hours. The tofu cannot be left in the brine for more than six hours as this would make the tofu “too stinky.” After it has been adequately marinated, the tofu is fried and cut into squares. It is typically served with a mound of pickled cabbage and a dollop of hot sauce.

The thing about this food is that it is tremendously popular among the Taiwanese. Stinky tofu stands are as common in Taipei as hot dog vendors are in New York City. Of the scores of Taiwanese people I have polled on the matter, only one has admitted that he doesn’t actually like this delicacy. Wanting to get the full Taiwanese experience, I vowed that I would, one day, try this putrid smelling item. One of our American friends from school tried it and reported back that it wasn’t as bad as it smelled and that he actually enjoyed the flavor, thus bolstering my courage to give it a go. When my brother and sister-in-law visited over our spring break, we knew that it was time to try it.

The night came when we were at a night market in Hualien. Night markets (like flea markets that are open at night) are known for their food vendors and are popular places to find stinky tofu. We had someone direct us to the most popular hawker of the stuff and we sat down to prepare ourselves. As he started frying the brine-soaked squares, the well-known odor penetrated our noses. We were actually going to do it. We were going to eat stinky tofu. After a few minutes of cooking, he pulled it out of the oil, cut it into bite size pieces, heaped on the pickled cabbage, and poured some hot sauce on the side of the plate. As the hot, stinky pile was placed in front of us, we pulled out our chopsticks ready to conquer our fear. Counting down, Harrison, Ali, Chris and I chose a square to taste and into our mouths they went. Let me be the one to tell you. Stinky tofu tastes exactly how it smells. I have a pretty high tolerance for strange or bad tasting food, but this thing I had trouble swallowing. It was a putrid, nasty mess of foul, rancid, spongy goo. I have tried to think of something worse that I have put in my mouth, but I couldn’t think of anything.

The worst thing about our experience is that now every time I smell the acrid odor of this abominable excuse for food, I can actually taste it again. The day after our experience at the Hualien night market, we smelled stinky tofu and someone commented, “You know, it smells a little like olives.” To which my brother Harrison added, “Yeah, like olives on a corpse.” I thought it was an accurate description.